OHSHC - Why Me?
by curiosity-killed-the-cat-58
Summary: The Host Club kidnaps their new victim: a girl who wants nothing more than to leave the madness. After Renge catapults her into her new life as the Host Club's maid - and I mean that literally - she discovers that being in the Club will haunt her for the rest of her life...
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

For what she wished was the first time, Haruhi Fujioka opened the door of the so-called 'music' room that the Host Club had taken up residency in and found herself drowning in a flurry of rose petals that engulfed her before she even set foot inside. She sighed. _Stupid rich people_, she thought, again not for the first time.

She dragged herself to her feet and stepped over the mass of rose petals that had collected on the floor. _I wonder what they're up to today?_ Haruhi shook her head. _All I can be sure of right now is that I really, _really, _don't want to know._ The first thing she noticed as she entered was the sudden, suffocating heat. She gagged, the overpowering scent of musk filling her nostrils. Through watery eyes, she looked up at her surroundings. _Wait, is that the sphinx?! _ She surrendered to resignation. _No, Haruhi. Don't question it, the answer may traumatise you._

Haruhi searched for the boys, silently dreading the inevitable. Her eyes rested on the far side of the room where they were waiting for her and her jaw dropped. _Why, Tamaki…_ They had evidently gone for the Ancient Egyptian look today, no doubt another one of Tamaki's bright ideas. All of them (excluding the great and powerful leader, of course) were decked out in traditional Egyptian clothing, which was fair enough, she supposed, but Tamaki…he had apparently thought that forcing her to join the Host Club and putting her into awkward guy situations hadn't traumatised her enough. For there he was, in all his creepy, egotistical glory, dressed in nothing but a skirt – and an uncomfortably short skirt at that. _Ok, ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit_. He had gone all-out with his costume – a pharaoh being the obvious choice for the self-declared 'Prince' – and was sat on a throne in the centre of the room. Black kohl eyeliner ringed his blue eyes, and his blonde unruly hair was all but covered by what appeared to be a very heavy, very expensive, headdress. Around his neck was a golden scarab beetle. _Please say that's not real gold…_

"Haruhiiii! I've been waiting for you!" Tamaki saw her and bounded forward out of his seat, arms open. _Run, run now while you have the chance!_ "Look, Haruhi! I'm a pharaoh! Don't I look beautiful?"

Haruhi groaned inwardly. Why must he say everything with exclamation marks? She dodged his over-enthusiastic welcome and retreated to a safe distance before replying, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Yes, of _course_ you do, senpai. Beautiful, idiotic, ridiculous, whatever floats your boat."

His face brightened and his smile widened, until he saw Kyoya shaking his head at him. His face fell and he seemed to shrink in on himself, drawing himself into the shadows. _Again? So soon? _If Haruhi looked closely, she could almost see a little raincloud over his head. She blinked, hard, expecting the image to go. The little raincloud remained where it was, resiliently raining down upon its victim. _Wait, is that…?_ Yes, it was. The twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, had taken it upon themselves to fetch a watering can from the Academy's gardens and let it trickle over Tamaki's head.

Honey skipped over towards the trio, Usa-chan clutched tightly between his little fingers. "Tama-chan? Do you want me to get you some mushrooms?" Tamaki nodded his head almost imperceptibly, and Honey bounced out of the room, rabbit swinging wildly in his grip. Haruhi put her head in her hands. _Mum, can you see this? _This_ is what I'm forced to put up with _every day_! _

"You know, antagonising Tamaki like this brings club activity down by 45%, Haruhi. Considering your huge debt to us, I would advise that you strive to reduce that percentage." Kyoya Ootori turned to her, nonchalantly documenting the day's events as he coolly addressed her.

Translation: apologise to the president or we'll increase your debt. Haruhi gaped at him. _Was he being serious?_ Kyoya had a habit of making threats through a friendly façade. To be honest, it made her slightly nervous around him. Her shoulders slumped and she turned towards Tamaki once more. He was still in the corner, dripping wet, but now he had quite a large supply of mushrooms surrounding him.

"Tamaki-senpai? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that-"

"That's OK, Haruhi, I forgive you!" He jumped up from the corner and pinched her cheek fondly. Wow, it really didn't take him long to cheer up. "Now, about your costume, look! I made you a matching one to mine! And if you really want I've got another throne…" He paused and put a hand to his soaking hair as if he had just noticed it was wet. He looked confused, until he saw the twins in the corner doubled over in laughter. "You treacherous twins! I'LL KILL YOU!"

The twins squealed in unison and ran away from the seething, roaring, snake-like mass that had become Tamaki. The last Haruhi saw of them, they were being dragged out the door by the ear.

Haruhi shook her head with a small grin on her face. She had to admit, it was never dull in the Host Club. As she waited for the inevitable stream of fanatic girls to come through the doors of the music room, she turned and gazed out of the window at the splendour of Ouran Academy. The window gave a perfect view of the courtyard that lay in the centre of the Academy. It had a large sparkling fountain in the middle, lilies floating gently on the rippling water. Surrounding the fountain was a marble pathway, leading into the various buildings that circled the courtyard. Bordering the paths were large rose bushes, carefully pruned to perfection. This whole school seemed obsessed with roses.

"Those with the wherewithal – first, in social standing and second, in money – spend their time here at the private Ouran Academy…"

From her vantage point, she could see the small figure of Kirimi Nekozawa sitting alone by on the stonework of the fountain. A rustling in the bushes directed her attention to a hooded figure who was peering at the young girl intently. She caught a glimpse of Beelzenef the voodoo doll, and her suspicions were confirmed; it was Umehito Nekozawa.

"…As such, Ouran Host Club is where the handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain and charm girls, who also have way too much time on their hands…"

_Creepy as always, Nekozawa. _From what she had heard, he had gone on a rampage around the school to cleanse the school of cats. Come to think of it, she had recently seen him using Beelzenef to hypnotise the ginger cat that had scared Kirimi. That cat in particular had never been seen at Ouran Academy again. It was sweet, in a twisted, voodoo filled way.

"…It is the school's own personal, elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful."

Haruhi whirled around and confronted her stalker. "Tamaki, I don't need your commentary! Don't you have anything better to do?"

Tamaki looked shocked for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "How did you know it was me?" She did nothing but give him a long look. He continued, oblivious. "Haruhi, guess what? The Host Club has become the most popular club in the Academy! I'm pretty sure they're going to give me a medal. It's only a matter of time, really. Don't you think I deserve a medal? No, no, no need to answer. The look on your face says it all. I do work hard don't I? I mean, life is hard for someone as beautiful and perfect as me. But I have to do this, for the good of the students at Ouran. They need someone like me to look up to, someone to fill the void that is their lives. That is why I strive to keep this club going. Strength, resilience, good-looks, that is what makes up the Host Club. And that is what the Prince of the Host Club must reflect…"

Haruhi groaned and glanced around desperately, trying to find something that would distract him, just _anything_ to stop him from talking. "Hey, Tamaki? Isn't that Nekozawa down there?"

It was a well-known fact within the Host Club that Tamaki had a somewhat irrational fear of the hooded student. Whatever he had been about to say died in his throat and his eyes widened in fear. "Haruhi, hide me!" He crouched down behind her and peered over her shoulder. "It-it's him! Haruhi, he's been following me _everywhere!_ I was in my French class, innocently working, when someone tapped me on the shoulder and I looked behind me and _there he was!_ And then, if that isn't suspicious enough, I was in P.E. and he and I were forced to partner up! Coincidence? I think not! I'm pretty sure I could've died in that class. He hypnotised me and I almost hit the teacher with a Frisbee!"

He shuddered and she rolled her eyes. "He wasn't _following you_, you're both in the same class Tamaki-senpai! And he didn't _hypnotise_ you, you have terrible aim."

His eyes narrowed and he wilted to the floor. Haruhi decided not to ask and casually side-stepped away. Through the corner of her eye, she could see Kyoya holding up a large sign with a large painted '45%' on it. She sighed and walked back to Tamaki to apologise. _These damn rich people._

A sudden mechanical noise made her turn quickly to see a large platform rising up from the ground, Renge's manic laughter ringing in the air. _These people don't know the meaning of 'music room' do they? Though I have to admit, they do know how to make an entrance…wait we're on the third floor…where is that platform coming from? _Haruhi shook her head. _Great. Now I'm talking to myself. These guys have definitely made me reach a new low._

"Renge, someday you're going to raise that platform and knock someone out. It's going to happen, I know it. And when that day comes…"

* * *

**Hey guys, please comment and let me know what you think! If I get good reviews I'll post more :)**


	2. Chapter 1 - That Day Comes

Sanae Takahashi crept round the corner of what seemed like the hundredth corridor, warily looking around for any signs of her stalkers. _Coast clear_. She quickened her pace slightly, a bead of sweat forming on her brow as she realised she had absolutely no idea where she was – or where she was going, for that matter. She slammed her fist into the wall in anger. _Those damn doppelgangers! Why don't they leave me alone?_

"Boo!" She squealed and spun around, finding herself face-to-face with the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru.

"What is wrong with you two? Do you have any idea how creepy you're being?"

One of them, Hikaru maybe, gasped in exaggerated offense. "Sanae-chan! Look at this face!" He widened his eyes and pouted, giving him an absurdly innocent look. "Do I look like someone who could ever be called creepy?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" She answered, grinning at his defeated expression.

The twin she had guessed to be Kaoru moved to the wall where she had punched it. Sanae cringed as she realised that she had cracked the paint. "Look at this! She ruined the paintwork! Such behaviour is highly unbefitting a highborn lady, wouldn't you say, Kaoru?"

_Kaoru? He must be Hikaru then. _She shook her head in frustration. _Well from now on, they can be Twin 1 and Twin 2! _

"Tut tut, Sanae-chan. Damaging school property is a punishable crime. You wouldn't want to be suspended on your _first day_ now, would you?" Twin 1 said moving to Twin 2's side and inspecting the damaged wall.

"Hey, who are you calling Sanae-chan! It's Sanae-_san_ to you two! And I hardly think a tiny scratch like that will be enough to get me suspended." It was a lie, and they knew it. She had a history of being slightly aggressive when she got upset – it had been called 'episodes of sub-psychotic rage' at one point, which she thought was extremely unfair – and it meant that one step out of line would get her into a very messy situation.

"Actually, I think you'll find that it _is_ enough to get suspended. If word of your 'tiny scratch' is spread around school by, oh I don't know, a couple of very handsome guys, it might mean the end of your very short time at Ouran Academy." Twin 2 said, eyes glinting mischievously.

"I'm not falling for your little tricks again." Sanae said stubbornly, refusing to be intimidated by them.

"Tricks? And just what would we have to gain-"

"From tricking you?"

She sighed. They had gone back to their unnerving habit of finishing each other's sentences. She looked up at them, and saw Twin 1 mirroring the same evil expression as Twin 2.

"I'm pretty sure there's some sort of rule against blackmail."

"Blackmail? No no, this isn't _blackmail, _we just want _compensation_."

She took a nervous step backwards. "Compensation? For what?"

"For covering up this heinous crime. As I'm sure you're aware, we are very good friends with Tamaki Suoh, the son of the chairman of Ouran Academy. It is very distressing to us to have to lie to our dear, _dear_ friend –"

"So we're asking for a small favour in return for our silence." Twin 1 finished.

Sanae narrowed her eyes at them, annoyance bubbling up inside her. "Do you really think I'm going to give in that easily?"

"Fine, let's settle this with a game. If we win, you do whatever we say. If you win, we cover up the damage you've caused without saying another word."

She looked at them suspiciously. They gazed up at her with their angelic topaz eyes. _I'm not falling for that. They've got something evil up their sleeve. _But she didn't have a choice; she couldn't afford to get in trouble so soon after joining the Academy.

She sighed in resignation. "What game did you have in mind?"

Both twins suddenly grinned simultaneously, and she found herself instantly regretting her decision. "Let's play-"

"Which one is Hikaru!"

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. _How on earth am I going to tell the difference between these two?_ _Ok, calm down Sanae. Look at them closely, I'm sure you can find a difference _somewhere. She balled her fists and their triumphant expressions faded momentarily. She pointed at Twin 1 – or who she thought was Twin 1 – and said, "Hikaru."

Their grins widened. _I've lost, haven't I? _She looked at them for confirmation and they nodded gleefully. _What hellish nightmare have they got planned for me now?_ Sanae waited for one of them to say something, but they remained silent. "So? What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just a few small errands. But first of all, we want you to come to the Host Club with us."

"Host Club? Erm…ok…"

They swooped to her side and took an arm each, leading her around another corner, ignoring her protests. They came across a set of large double doors, marked 'music room 3'. "Oh, look here it is! What a coincidence that you just happened to run this way!"

Sanae gritted her teeth. They were _leading_ her here all along! She opened her mouth to yell insults at them, but before she could she was doused in a flurry of rose petals.

Haruhi's POV

"Give it to me!"

"Never!"

"It's mine! Let. _Go_!"

"He gave it to me, not you!"

Haruhi sighed and backed away from the two fangirls who were fighting over Tamaki's blazer. She was pretty sure that he didn't give it to either of them, but she had no wish to get in the middle of the argument.

"Haru-chan!" She turned to see Honey running towards her with his arms open. "Haru-chan guess what? Hikaru said that he was bringing a new girl to the Host Club!"

"A new _girl_? Why?"

"Tama-chan wanted you to have a girly influence in the Host Club! He said you were becoming even manlier than him!"

Haruhi gaped at the senior. _Manly? Me?_ That sounded like precisely what Tamaki would do, but still…she'd never been called manly before. She turned to reply to Honey, but he had gone. She whirled around and saw him in the corner being yelled at by none other than Tamaki himself.

"You idiot! Why would you tell her that? No daughter wants to know that she's manlier than her father!"

She rolled her eyes and retreated to the entrance of the music room. From behind the double doors, she could hear raised voices and she jumped out of the way just in time to see the doors burst open, revealing the twins practically carrying a young girl through the doorway. They had evidently given her the usual welcome already, as the poor girl had rose petals in her raven hair and hanging over her startlingly blue eyes.

"Hikaru, Kaoru! What are you two up to this time?" She asked sternly.

They dropped the girl they were carrying and folded their arms behind their backs innocently, casually sidestepping away from her. She had fallen to a heap on the floor in the entrance. Suddenly, the bell rang announcing that lessons had begun again and all the girls in the room got up and poured out of the room, thoroughly trampling the newcomer on the floor. Once they had all gone, she dragged herself up and glared at the twins.

"Why me?!" She yelled. "I've been stalked, blackmailed, dragged and trampled, the least you could do is tell me WHY!"

Kaoru ignored her question. "Sanae-chan! I am appalled at your manners! You've been invited here, the least you could do is introduce yourself!"

The girl – Sanae – gave him a withering glare before turning to the rest of the club. "My name is Sanae Takahashi and I'm a new student in class 1B. Nice to meet you." She said the last sentence through gritted teeth. Haruhi didn't blame her: this Club was filled with a bunch of lunatics.

"Sanae! Ah, yes, I have heard of you. I do hope that the twins didn't hurt you, they brought you here on my behalf and-"

"I was put through that because of _you_?" She strode forward angrily.

Tamaki yelped and ran behind Kyoya. "Mommy!"

This seemed to completely throw Sanae off guard and she looked blankly between the pair of them. _No, you weren't imagining it. He did say 'Mommy'. _"I would advise you to run, but it looks like it's too late for that." Haruhi smiled at her welcomingly and Sanae seemed to relax.

"Does anyone want to tell me what this 'Host Club' actually is?" She said.

"Yes, but first would you mind taking a step to the right please?" Sanae did as Kyoya asked, and he began his explanation.

Haruhi tuned out for that part; it didn't interest her. What did interest her, however, was the red flashing arrow behind Sanae, pointing directly at where she was standing. A feeling of dread built up within her. _What's that? What are these damn rich people planning now?_

Suddenly, an all-too familiar laugh echoed through the floor beneath them and Renge's platform appeared – rising directly beneath Sanae's feet. The girl had no time to react, and she was suddenly catapulted across the room, crashing into a display on the far end of the room. Haruhi groaned as everyone watched in surprise, no one making a move to help her.

_Why do I always have to be right?_


End file.
